A tough day in the friendly skies, by Jeffrey Veen

A tough day in the friendly skies

About 30 minutes into a recent cross-country flight, a harried flight attendant gets on the PA and announces:

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to announce that on tonight's flight we will be serving you with just three flight attendants rather than the normal crew of six. We ask for your patience, and we assure you that we will do the best we can.
Also, we have run out of tomato juice.

And ... napkins.

I understand logistics are really complicated in the airline industry, but wow - napkins, too?

This entry was written by Jeffrey Veen and posted 14 June 2005 at 10:04 PM. It was filed under Travel. | View blog reactions

Comments

1. On 15 June 2005 at 12:37 AM Joost Schuur wrote:

Somewhere half way on their way to Mexico, there's a trio of flight attendants in a getaway car, laughing and going 'Those fools! We've got enough napkins to last a LIFETIME!'.

2. On 15 June 2005 at 7:18 AM Miki Watts wrote:

Good thing you took off before they ran out of napkins... otherwise, you'd probably still be waiting on the ground for lemon scented napkins until the end of time.

3. On 15 June 2005 at 7:47 AM Waylan wrote:

"waiting on the ground for lemon scented napkins until the end of time"
Hehe, almost forgot about that. Good one.

4. On 15 June 2005 at 9:43 AM Jeni wrote:

They ran out of napkins? Man, talk about budget cuts.

5. On 15 June 2005 at 3:39 PM spcoon wrote:

Just the other day I was set to return from SF and the captain came on the intercom. He regretted to inform us that they had to wait until *coffee cups* were delivered to the plane before they could get going.

Two minutes later, he returned to the intercom with a democratic option. He asked that anyone who wished to wait for coffee cups and delay the arrival time, please press their flight attendants call button... now.

The muttering of the New Yorkers began even before the five second response time conclude. As one would guess, the muttering became "friendlier" as we pulled away from the gate.

6. On 20 June 2005 at 2:30 PM Ed wrote:

What airline? Inquiring minds (with lots of miles on United) want to know.

7. On 20 June 2005 at 2:40 PM veen wrote:

You guessed it, Ed. I was on United.

8. On 23 June 2005 at 11:49 AM Cameron Barrett wrote:

There's been a rash of reports lately aobut how deep United's budget cuts are. I find it amazing that the airlines cannot make money, even with full planes.

Right after September 11, Congress gave the airline industry a $12 billion bail-out gift. I'm wondering where all that taxpayer money went?

9. On 23 June 2005 at 12:15 PM Ed Batista wrote:

Ah, United--"Friendly" Skies indeed. I'm planning to spend down my United miles ASAP--hopefully I'll zero out before they go belly up. In the meantime, my paid travel (primarily between SF/Oakland and Dulles) has been on JetBlue and Independence Air. MUCH cheaper, friendly enough, and eminently more logical--no "classes," so they can load the plane from the back. Independence also flies out of SFO's International terminal, which is still something of a novelty. And no one's run out of napkins...yet.

10. On 28 June 2005 at 6:54 PM nick wrote:

In a few months, napkins will be $2 each, unless you're a platinum frequent flier.

11. On 14 July 2005 at 1:58 AM Branko Collin wrote:

I too immediately thought of DNA: "Transtellar Cruise Lines would like to apologize to passengers for the continuing delay to this flight. We are currently awaiting the loading of our complement of small lemon-soaked paper napkins for your comfort, refreshment and hygiene during the journey. Meanwhile we thank you for your patience. The cabin crew will shortly be serving coffee and biscuits again."

The reason for a world-wide shortage of napkins is because the napkin dispenser won't serve more than two hundred (see under "Beta Testers I Have Loved").