Girl’s Life

I’ve not been super great about keeping the internets abreast of this most recent of pregnancies in our household. One reason is because, well, who has time to remember all the intricacies of each exciting and foreign kick, each bout of horrible heartburn, each stolen moment in the day to quickly reflect on how much our lives are about to change, when there is a TODDLER (!!) on the loose? Sorry about the caps, but with Sophia, I just don’t think “toddler” is an accurate enough description of her current age and status in life. Really, TODDLER (!!) fits her much better. Internet, meet our whirlwind, bouncy, lovable, tantrumy, song writing 2-and-a-half-year-old.

So yeah, there’s the TODDLER (!!) factor to deal with. But the other main reason is that I always wonder how much of the day-to-day of pregnancy people really want to hear, ya know?

There were those first few months (Gah, those first few months — I shake my fist at you in remembrance of the nausea and utter lack of energy!) I guess I didn’t want to taint the name of pregnancy for all those who still held the romantic view of it. There are still a few of you out there, I’m sure. And then there’s the growing belly and the tightening pants. The urgent cravings for burritos and chocolate and then (thankfully!) for yogurt like it’s nobody’s business. The icky heartburn and wonderful ultrasounds. Hearing that little heartbeat racing away on loud-speaker at each doctor visit.

And mostly, the joy of observing Sophia watch as my body (and our family) transform. Watching her show so much love and interest towards the belly — the baby. Watching her kiss and hug it. Saying good morning to it. It’s more than this mama can comprehend sometimes — that this kid, this big sister, is changing right along with me. And even though my change is physical, her change is just as apparent (and even moreso sometimes!).

A man I know asked me the other day how I would describe pregnancy and the resulting changes to someone who had never experienced it. He suggested that writing down my observations and experiences would be so insightful to someone like him. And you know? Funny that I had never even thought of it like that. I’m surrounded by friends with small children or friends going through their own pregnancies, that I forget sometimes that there is a whole world of people that I interact with all the time who can’t really imagine what it’s like to go through all this.

So I’ll continue to try. I’ll try to photograph my changing body from time to time. I’ll try to jot down that wonderful moment of clarity I get thinking about my soon-to-be family of four or the joy that washes over me as I ponder my children growing up together. And I’ll even try to remember (although I usually don’t want to) the heartburn and weight gain and achy, uncomfortable sleep. I guess it all counts towards the greater good, right? Thanks for sticking around for the journey.