Girl’s Life

Yesterday was a day of parenting for me that will live in infamy.

The husband had plans to see an early evening movie with some friends, so I was alone on dinner and bathtime duty with Sophia last night. No problem — just a bath, some jammies and a couple stories. How hard can that be, right?

Well, unfortunately for me, I had to learn the hard way that when you have a system that works, you should never EVER veer from that system. Chris and I have a tag-team approach to bathtime. He undresses the kiddo, while I prep the bath. I bathe and dress her, then she runs out looking for goodnight kisses, while I gather up the books for storytime. Sounds simple. But that is what’s so glorious about having a system. It is simple…until, of course, you start messing with it.

During dinner Sophia had done a number in her diaper. That number being two. So instead of prepping the bath before undressing her, I took off her clothes, cleaned her up and let her down for a few seconds while I ran the bath. Let me reiterate that it was only a few seconds. How much can happen in that amount of time? Apparently, lots.

She had taken off running into our bedroom when I went into the bathroom to turn the bath on. What I didn’t know when I had changed her out of her diaper only moments earlier is that she hadn’t finished the job. Well, by the time I got to my bedroom she had. She had finished all over our (carpeted!) floor.

“Holy crap!” I yelled, which then, in turn, made me laugh a little because of the irony.

I grabbed Sophia — who was wildly running away from me and through her poop, stomping it all over my bedroom floor — and threw her in the tub. I then had to promptly remove her (and the floaties!) so I could sterilize the tub, all while a wet and screaming toddler was yelling at me because I wouldn’t let her out of the bathroom to roam the house naked.

Whew! Luckily the diapering, jammying and story telling were relatively less eventful. She soon fell into peaceful toddler sleep, and I was now free to go assess the mess in the bedroom. But what I found was almost worse than what I could have imagined. Worse than a poopy mess on the floor, I found nothing. Wait a minute…nothing? A grosser situation had arisen even than having to clean up toddler poop. My always-hungry dog had jumped in to my rescue and Hoovered up the room while I finished bathing the mess culprit.

My dog is currently banned to the backyard, drinking lots of water and licking disinfectant dog bones. And, needless to say, I will never deviate from the bedtime system again!